Wiped out and ready to go!

I’ve noticed something. There is a definite difference in my level of tiredness (is that a word???) depending on what activity causes it. I’m typically a night owl. I can and do stay up late pretty often. The only problem with this is that I have a job! And getting to work by 7 after a late night often necessitates a large coffee, 8 creams and 4 sugars, from McD’s. However, I have noticed that my reason for being up late often makes a difference in how I feel. For example, yesterday I (along with my sister and parents) drove to Brunswick, Georgia for a family funeral visitation. It was great getting to see family and reconnect with them, even under those circumstances. However, driving back from Brunswick caused a late night and an early morning. But strangely enough, I felt somehow a little rested! Yes I was tired, but it was different. If I stay up ‘til 1 AM because I’m chatting on Facebook or watching a MacGyver episode, then I am usually wiped out like a zombie the next morning. To me, it seems that God provides a special grace and strength that sustains us when the needs in our life necessitate a late night or extended periods of physical or emotional strain. Not that it is easy, but it’s bearable because God is sustaining us during a time that’s a little out of the ordinary (whatever ordinary is!). Now I’m not saying that God’s grace depends on our performance…let’s not even go there because that’s a different issue. BUT, when I am living the fullness of the life of Christ and following the leading of His Spirit, I can rest in the fact that He will provide for what I need. He will multiply rest, finances, and resources to keep us sustained and strengthened. Usually the times when I am tired beyond repair, or stressed out financially, is when I have been a poor steward of those resources. It’s like God is saying, “I gave you enough time to get adequate sleep, now go to bed!”. Or, “I’ve provided for all your needs, but don’t waste your money on the vending machine!” Again, it’s not a performance trap to get God’s favor. It’s knowing I have God’s favor and resting in His abundant provision – while also making the best use of what He has already provided. Instead of dragging through the day thinking, “Here I go again with only 4 hours of sleep”, I can trust that He will get me through with sufficient provision. When I waste my night, staying up late for no reason and waking up tired only makes me feel like I’m rehearsing the same old story – amazed at my stupidity in repeating the same mistake! But knowing I’m involved in the things God is blessing causes a much different response and makes a late night or stretched bank account well worth it.

Holding the world (and my heart) in His hands

I'm becoming more aware of the fact that God has a time and plan for everything that is often very different from what I've "planned" on. I've seen this in my life for a while but I forget it so often...that man orders his own life, but God really does direct him and lead him through things that he could never in his wildest dreams imagine. I think two things are key. First, realize that God loves me completely without condemnation and holds the world in His hands. And second is to live like I know that! Yes God is sovereign and above being compared or understand because He is so incredible. Just last week I was struggling with how to process some things - mental stress. And I started praying that morning just declaring the faithfulness of God. That He was the God who created the stars, who governed the laws of physics. He is the God that created the concepts for the Taylor Series (if you're not a math nerd you will have no clue what I'm talking about!!). He is the God that allows the earth to orbit and lets the seasons and weather systems coincide together. Knowing He does that makes me realize that He is quite capable of directing my heart through anything I face in life. Life is often very challenging. But God loves to show Himself faithful in those times. What I desire is that regardless of where I'm at in life, I will maintain such a personal and intimate relationship with God that I trust Him. Right now I have a lot of unanswered questions. But God knows that and He knows I don't need the answer to some of those things right now. Growing in relationship with Him is me being ok with the things that go unanswered. Not there yet, but I want to be. Right now what I do know is that I am forever loved by Him and a recipient of His awesome grace that I will never deserve.